gorilla mama: the nutshell eight week update

Wow. Wow. Wow, wow, wow. How can you have so much time and get absolutely nothing done? I don’t feel like I’m doing a lot. Even though I am, and every time I lament my feelings of uselessness to the Beard he reminds me that I’m doing something really important. Feeding another human with my flesh and blood, for example. But, shit, it still just feels like laying around in bed most days. This blog post pretty much sums it up.  And as the House of Flurfel writer  points out in that post, in part it’s not that you’re not doing anything when you’re mama-ing, it’s that you’re never, ever finished.  Because kids are never “finished,” and their constant interruptions mean everything else has to happen in three to five minute increments.

So, umm, sorry about all those comments on blogs that I haven’t responded to.  (To the person who keeps asking about how we wash our cloth diapers, and who I think assumes we are way more badassly off-griddy with that sort of thing than we are: We have a washing machine.  It has a cycle called “baby clothes.”  And I am so glad.  Hanging up the laundry is a task that I can only accomplish over multiple days, so I can’t even frickin’ imagine having to actually scrub the goo out of every one of those little scraps of fabric by hand.  I know people who have done it.  But I remain foreign to their numbers, green as it might be.)  There are blog posts and ramblings and rantings backed up in my head to fill this space every day for months.  But instead you’re probably going to be facing a lot more empty space than I’d like.  I just hope you all stick around to find out what sort of blog rhythm I manage to settle into here, post baby Pickles.  And I also just hope that my head doesn’t explode beforehand, unwritten words oozing out of my ears.

Stay tuned.


0 Comments on “gorilla mama: the nutshell eight week update

  1. When my daughter turned 6 months old and I started giving her cow milk, I realized that every cell and molecule of her body had been given by mine in the 15 months prior. Every bone and hair and drop of blood and saliva had originated and nursed with nutrients from my body.

    It was a very nice thought.

    Your partner is right, you’re doing a lot of work these days. Breathe, be happy and choose what to worry about. Please don’t let the blog be it.

  2. Been there. The beard is right. I’m not really there anymore as my children have grown into a squadron of preschoolers, so it’s more about being run off my feet. But I’m glad I spit that out before forgetting. It’s not easy finding your stride as a mother. And when you do, everything changes. The key, I think, is to be kind to yourself.

  3. Yeahhh… it helps when you really lower your expectations about how much you’d like to get done. That post you linked to was hilarious, I was laughing out loud at how she imagined gardening while her baby lay contentedly on a blanket.
    Weird thing is, even though I still feel so busy, I find myself looking at other stay at home moms I know and thinking “they must have so much time, they stay home all day!” Completely irrational.
    At this point, it seems like most of my day is spent bending over and picking things up. Because toddlers pick everything up, and then put them back down in random places. Fun!!

  4. Hey Nicolette, I just thought I’d hunt you down after scanning through my couch-surfing profile one day… and…

    Congratulations on the baby! The whole being-a-mum-thing sounds tough, but hang in there 🙂 Especially trying to keep it green (no matter how bad-ass) is impressive. Keep up the good work!


  5. Julia: It is a nice thought. And crazy. Unfortunately I can’t say the same as my body wasn’t making enough milk and Pickles completely stopped gaining weight for two weeks. Now she gets a supplemental bottle (but fed to her through this awesome tube thing so she drinks it at my breast and won’t get nipple confusion). But I’m planning on rambling on a bunch about that issue in a post.

    It’s not that the blog is a priority so much as I need to write to feel normal, and the blog is the main place where that gets funneled. And not having any time to channel that creativity is really painful. But only temporary, I keep telling myself.

    Mama Flurfel: Yes. Love that post of yours. You really capture it quite perfectly.

    FVM: It’s funny, I never thought about how my computer time would suffer due to lack of two hands. I remember thinking about how having a carrier would make doing a lot of things around the Wagens totally possible. Never considered that it wouldn’t help with typing and that that would make a number of things kinda hard… Silly me! Heh.

    Jarrod: Thanks!

    Sarah: And thanks to you too!

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