click clack gorilla

salt, snow tires, terry prachett

Terry Prachett is a god damn genius, and all this time I had no idea. All those years I spent working at Waldenbooks—shunning his books because they were filed among so much other trashy fantasy and Star Wars/Trek fan fiction—when I could have been reading about Discworld and marveling at Prachett's ...

google, capitalism, grammar

So I'm sitting at my computer, working on a book review of It Was Never About A Hot Dog and a Coke!—which, coincidentally you should never read because it's horrifically written—and I'm irritated because the author keeps capitalizing the word "black" when it's used to describe a group of people, ...

fancy red wine, fake plastic breast

Hitch hiking is fueled by coincidence. Thousands of random details from a few unrelated lives and one person, trying to get from one city to another, who connects them, ride for ride, into one trip. The old man on his way to get his shattered windshield fixed, only ...

hot off the press

Holy shit holy shit holy shit! My zine is finished. It's a collection of click clack gorilla stories. And did I mention it's finished? If you want a copy we'll either need to figure out a way for you to get me a euro fifty, or what we ...

happy walrus day!

Today is Walrus Day. (Oh Happy Day!) Walrus Day is a holiday invented by a friend of a friend. And it's purpose? On Walrus Day you do exactly what it is you've been wanting to do the whole year but haven't gotten around to. Call ...

all hail the dark lord

This just in: This year, there's a new candidate up for the position of Satan! That's right folks! Buy Round Up, and place your vote for the new dark lord today! 120,547 Reasons Why Monsanto Should Win This Year's Title: Next Best Thing to Satan, Nuclear Apocalypse, and Slow ...

beer purity, beer mutants

Expat German-stereotype legend has it that Germans like laws and bureaucracy almost as much as they like beer. And they like beer a lot. So what do you get when you add a love for rules and stark efficiency with a love for a substance known for breaking down inhibitions, order, ...

new york, new york

Lo weary readers! I apologize for my extended absence. Lately I've been trading in the click clacks for travels and music and improbable coincidences. I spent five weeks in America, another week in Holland, and somehow just survived organizing a weekend-long festival to celebrate Haus Mainusch's 20th ...

nyc or bust

I had jet lag before I even got to the airport. Up until 3 the night before at the Ablärm/Icos/Discarga show at Mainusch, nervous as fuck, chain smoking, babbling about the places I'd be seeing in the next five weeks, trying to explain how far away from Baltimore Chicago and Colorado ...

a (wo)man without a country

"Americans are always afraid of coming home," said Karabekian, "with good reason, may I say." "They used to have good reason," said Beatrice, "but not anymore. The past has been rendered harmless. I would tell any wandering American now, 'Of course you can go home again, and as often ...