Just kidding. Owning a vacuum cleaner has nothing to do with being conservative. But since a lot of folks we know like to make jokes about the inevitable journey to squareness that is expected to occur when you get married/have a kid/pass any other coming of age water mark, when the Beard mentioned that we should probably buy a vacuum cleaner before Peanut arrived, he made the obvious joke.
There is little need for a vacuum cleaner in a tiny house with no wall-to-wall rugs. There is plenty of dust, thanks to the wood stove and the constant traffic between outdoors and in, but we sweep, I wash my floor (which I sealed with yacht sealant just for this purpose) with hot water and vinegar once in a while, and I beat out my two throw rugs with a woven wicker carpet beater. But vacuums do manage to do the job more thoroughly, and as is the way of these things, we waited and waited, and eventually a vacuum showed up in the trash across the street. Thanks dumpster gods.