Monthly archives: March 2012

when i was batman

Those of you who have been reading for a while will remember the au pair chronicles—a serial about how it is that I ended up in Germany and what it was like spending 10 months au pairing for a insanely rich family in Frankfurt am Main. Well, I’ve been busy writing new installments to share with you during operation whirlwind baby. But since a hell of a lot of new readers have become regulars since I first began the series a year ago, I thought I would start by re-publishing the series thus far—both to buy me baby [...]

dumpster find of the week: baby tub

And you thought I hated that color. Well, I do. But when I went out to take out the trash and found this baby tub and (umm, what do you call these things? ummm…) toilet trainer seat thingy, I shrugged and took them home. There are a number of baby tubs lying around the Wagenplatz that would have worked just fine as well, though many of them were a little on the big side, and none of them had a drain plug in the bottom. (Note to self: do not get cocky and use inside the trailer where it is [...]

spring: too early, and fucking finally

Throw open your windows!  Pack up your coats!  Screw the amputated arm back onto your purple sunglasses and bask in sunlight!  Swear on every single white cherry blossom that, this summer, you will not complain about it being too hot.  (Not even once!)  Chant it with me now: vitamin d, vitamin d, vitamin d!!!
We haven’t lit the wood stove in days, and the good mood is catching.  I came out of the shower yesterday—in a skirt, no jacket, no tights, hair wet—and the air felt so perfect, so pleasant, so warm.  It is the big “ahh” of relief after a [...]

in the margins

Those of you who have been reading for a while will remember the au pair chronicles—a serial about how it is that I ended up in Germany and what it was like spending 10 months au pairing for a insanely rich family in Frankfurt am Main. Well, I’ve been busy writing new installments to share with you during operation whirlwind baby. But since a hell of a lot of new readers have become regulars since I first began the series a year ago, I thought I would start by re-publishing the series thus far—both to buy me baby [...]

gorilla mama: the first month with baby pickles

Having a baby is liking being given a gift.  Not in that “oh she’s my little precious angel sent from heaven” sort of way (though, shit does having a kid make you cheesy), but in a totally new, “you are now in possession of the most accurate and effective bullshit detector ever invented” sort of way.  Life is, at least at the beginning, reduced to the basics—eating, feeding, trying to (and too often failing at) drink enough water to keep up with both hydration and milk production, sleeping, sleeping, and sleeping.  And what that means is that suddenly it is [...]

the weirdest thing i ever found in the trash

I’ve posted this picture before, but when I came across it in my blog archives I thought: now there’s a story worth telling twice. So here goes. Once upon a time I took a long Sunday bike ride through some nearby fields. Those nearby fields are also near some big box stores. I had never checked out their dumpsters, so I biked behind them, finding nothing until I came to a huge high-security fenced in trash area. This is what was inside, and for a good thirty seconds, I actually thought it might be real.
What’s [...]

it burns, it burns

This morning, this quote from artist Banksy:

People are taking the piss out of you everyday. They butt into your life, take a cheap shot at you and then disappear. They leer at you from tall buildings and make you feel small. They make flippant comments from buses that imply you’re not sexy enough and that all the fun is happening somewhere else. They are on TV making your girlfriend feel inadequate. They have access to the most sophisticated technology the world has ever seen and they bully you with it. They are The Advertisers and they are laughing at you.
You, [...]

relax, these are the good old days

Oh my cod, hello nostalgia! So while enacting Operation Sanity (aka preparing some bloggy stuff for baby kick off time and gathering material for the second issue of Click Clack Gorilla: The Zine) I reread everything I’ve written since the beginning of 2009. And 2009 just happens to be the year that I got trash house aka my very own Wagen/trailer. Pre-trash house the Beard and I had been sharing one trailer, the red Wagen that you’ve probably heard me refer to as “the sleeping Wagen.” Re-reading my post from post-first-trash-house-viewing and pre-trash-house pick up was [...]

the origins of hazing

Those of you who have been reading for a while will remember the au pair chronicles—a serial about how it is that I ended up in Germany and what it was like spending 10 months au pairing for a insanely rich family in Frankfurt am Main. Well, I’ve been busy writing new installments to share with you during operation whirlwind baby. But since a hell of a lot of new readers have become regulars since I first began the series a year ago, I thought I would start by re-publishing the series thus far—both to buy me baby [...]

gorilla mama: the postpartum belly

A few weeks ago I wrote a little ditty about body image during pregnancy.  I told you about the skinny voices I’ve heard all my life (the voices coming from magazines and television and the way people around me talk about weight that made me feel like being and/or staying skinny was somehow crucial to my happiness), I rejoiced at their disappearance during my pregnancy, and I silently hoped they wouldn’t return to plague me once Pickles had been born.  My post was even picked up by Eat the Damn Cake, a lovely website about self-esteem and body image written [...]