37 weeks pregnant: maybe the last tmi pregnancy blah blah before the baby

I’ve reached the end days phase. The bit of being pregnant where I’m constantly thinking “well this could be the last time I wear this T-shirt before I have a baby.” Or “this could be my last shower without a baby.” Or even, “Maybe the next time I light the wood stove I’ll have a baby.” And on and on and on. It’s all very exciting. I can’t wait to have my body back to myself again, and I can’t wait to find out what giving birth feels like.

Looking back its been a pretty pleasant pregnancy. There was that uncomfortable four months of puking, but it’s far enough in the past now that I’ve already begun to repress the memories—or better put, my brain has started to take the kick out of them. Then there was the fun part when I first started to show but had yet to begin the gradual descent into gestational-crippledom and general exhaustion. Which, I might add, culminated last night in me carrying a large bowl of salad for twenty meters, and it destroying my back to the point that I was no longer able to remove clothing or leave the bed without help. My walk went from penguin waddle to shuffling, malfunctioning robot in seconds. After the Beard rubbed some magical herbal stuff on it I was eventually able to manage a shimmy/crawl down the mattress though, so at least I didn’t have to wake him up to carry me to the chamber pot for my 340 nightly trips to the toilet.

But for the most part I’ve had a really easy time health-wise, and I am so glad that so far (knock on wood people, there is still time for the demons to find me and try to drive me into the hospital) I haven’t had any serious health issues. Here here. Ladies who have had health issues during pregnancy: I salute you. I think of you all the time and how strong you must be to get through that shit. I haven’t had to deal with anything serious, and it’s been a pain in the ass, so I can only imagine what some of you have made it through. Good job.

I’ve never been much of a belly talker—though I sometimes like to imagine that maybe she can pick up images if I concentrate on them just right—but lately I’ve started giving Mount Peanut motivational speeches about how great it is out in the world, you know, in case she thinks she might be ready to pack up and leave the water cave. At this point she’s safe, physically, to come, and if labor started at the end of this sentence I’d be euphoric. All the sappy feelings about being excited to meet her aside, I can’t wait to be alone in my own skin again. I have never looked forward to jogging so much in my life. Not to mention the little things I miss, like walking fast and carrying stuff and not getting winded by a walk to the bathroom Wagen. And oh my god, laying on my stomach! And on my back! And sitting close to a table! Now those were the days.

Oh my cod and the birth! That is going to be amazing! The miracle of life! My body doing crazy ass shit I never thought possible! A fully formed human being emerging from my innards! A brain built by my body on autopilot! Eyes that can look and a mouth that makes noises! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, this is the stuff of magic. I’m prepared for everything and for nothing, for magic and pain and tears and to come out of a trance to find myself on all fours on my bed mooing like an agitated cow. Wish us luck…

We’re running a little guessing pool for our friends to bet on the date of Peanut’s arrival. I’d include you in it, but I think it’s probably illegal to run random internet gambling circles. Either way, if you feel like putting in your psychic ten cents, leave us your guess in the comments. The gyno says February 20th and the midwife says February 19th. I say “get this thing out of me as soon as possible,” so I’m just assuming that she’ll wait until the last possible second, ie 14 days later. If you get it right, maybe I’ll even send you a little present.

Want to read more about my gorilla pregnancy? Check out these posts… (Or check out the entire gorilla prego category here.)

singing during pregnancy (wherein I lament having to vomit onstage at 37 weeks)

38 weeks pregnant: acupuncture and the labor dance

diy pregnancy: the fold-down changing table

birth, pregnancy, and everyday magic

what i read while i was pregnant

why disney women suck

midwives and home births in germany

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Friday February 03rd 2012, 9:30 am 20 Comments
Filed under: conspiracies,everyday magic,gorilla parent (pregnancy)

20 Comments so far. Please leave a comment.

Good luck and I’d say in about a week :)

Comment by Sara 02.03.12 @ 1:58 pm

omg I can’t believe it’s so close!! I will guess she’s born on the 22nd, same day as Janey – I was 3 days “overdue”.

reading your post makes me remember the one thing I was really annoyed by at the end – I couldn’t talk loud without getting out of breath, so being out in loud public places was hard.

Comment by Frugal Vegan Mom 02.03.12 @ 5:27 pm

Wow not long now. The last days seem to take ages. I hope you have a great birth. I guess – Feb 29th!!

Comment by Sarah May 02.03.12 @ 7:17 pm

Put me down for the 25th – seems like most of the women I work with run a few days over for their first birth. Plus, I like perfect square numbers.

Comment by Lyssa 02.03.12 @ 8:06 pm

Put me down for March 4th (because I like the pun). Get it?

Comment by jill 02.03.12 @ 9:12 pm

the 18th! (we’re both 18th babies.)

Comment by finn 02.04.12 @ 4:09 am

I’m going with the 16th or the 27th- those are two of my four sisters’ birthdays.

Comment by paula 02.04.12 @ 6:28 am

hah, February is a month of big dates!

I go for Febuary 24th….my birthday!!

Comment by haveyouseenthisgirl 02.04.12 @ 6:35 pm

You are a fantastic writer! I am looking forward to when you give birth – you’re going to be able to tell the story of the whole thing SO effectively.

I’m guessing Mount Peanut will arrive on Feb. 13, at 4:22am, weighing 8 lbs 2 ozs. Good luck with everything – I’ve bookmarked you to keep in touch!

Comment by Pamela in Calgary, AB 02.04.12 @ 8:55 pm

February 25, without any doubt whatsoever! My son was born on that day, that must count for something, right? *lol

Comment by Susann 02.05.12 @ 5:01 pm

Why not try Valentine’s Day? 14th February. Good luck.

Comment by Anni 02.05.12 @ 9:13 pm

Wow, you are SO pregnant! ;) I’m going to guess on the 28th. Btw, when Peanut is here, where do we send the gifts? Good luck with everything and happy birthing! (I am already looking forward to reading the birth story…)

Comment by Lina 02.06.12 @ 2:41 am

The 28th.

And holy crap, a salad bowl?

Comment by Tara 02.06.12 @ 6:33 am

I am going with the 21st. Might as well have a baby on Mardi Gras as any day. ;) 2-21-12 is kind of catchy as well.

Best of luck in these final days, Mama. You are almost there!

Comment by jadebabylon 02.06.12 @ 9:10 am

I’m loving all the guessing going on here! I hope the folks guessing early get it right…

Tara: I know, fucking salad bowl! (Just for the sake of clarity it was a big salad bowl, like salad for the whole table, not salad just for one. But still! But I have been told this isn’t really normal. I was talking to some ladies in my birth prep class about how I can barely walk and my back is constantly fucked and they were like, what, why? Glad to know it’s not the usual experience.)

Jadebabylon: Oh dear lord do I hope she doesn’t come on Rosenmontag (“rose monday” aka the 20th aka the biggest carnival day in Mainz) else she be cursed with all the Meenzer carnival songs being sung at her for the rest of her life. Hope she likes costume birthday parties…

Comment by clickclackgorilla 02.06.12 @ 1:36 pm

It’s great to hear you looking forward to birth instead of dreading it like so many women do! I thought it was pretty cool, myself. Transition was especially interesting: uncomfortable but almost psychedelic with its overwhelmingly mounting sense of purpose expressed incoherently by my brain in words that seemed to make sense at the time.

I vote for 2-12-12, a nice string of digits and also Abraham Lincoln’s birthday.

Comment by 'Becca 02.06.12 @ 4:08 pm

Ah I remember those last days of pregnancy so well. I couldn’t wait to be able to run when I was heavily pregnant, which is weird because I hate running! I remember walking the dogs at 39 weeks pregnant, on the very morning before I would give birth that evening, wishing for it to be over so I could have my strength and energy back. And once I was fully recovered, at about a month post-parton, I actually did go for a run, and it was exhilarating and wonderful and I felt free! So I can totally relate. But hang on in there, it’ll be here soon enough. :)

And just to join in, I’ll bet on the 28th.

Comment by Lindsey @ anunschoolingadventure 02.08.12 @ 4:10 pm

Urgh, stupid iPhone! *post-partum*

Comment by Lindsey @ anunschoolingadventure 02.08.12 @ 4:11 pm

February 15th I’m gonna guess :-)

Comment by Michelle 02.09.12 @ 10:24 am

The 23rd all the way!

Comment by Jill 02.12.12 @ 11:43 pm




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