happy walrus day!

Today is Walrus Day. (Oh Happy Day!) Walrus Day is a holiday invented by a friend of a friend. And it’s purpose? On Walrus Day you do exactly what it is you’ve been wanting to do the whole year but haven’t gotten around to. Call in sick and lay in bed reading all day! Learn how to screen print! Eat pancakes until you explode! Have a spontaneous dance party! Excessively use exclamation points!

Of course, you could do all of these things any old day of the year, but the point is, most of us don’t. So there’s Walrus Day to give us the kick in the ass we need to get started right this very second. Today, the world is your walrus. I’m going to go get all the non-genetically modified seeds I can find, because I hear that shit is going to hit the fan next week, and I’d rather not have to loot the plant store after the end of the world.

If you’re not sure what to do with your walrus day, I’d recommend starting by watching this beautiful music video of one of my favorite people in the universe. Tata.

Wednesday October 08th 2008, 2:50 pm 2 Comments
Filed under: conspiracies,music

all hail the dark lord

This just in: This year, there’s a new candidate up for the position of Satan! That’s right folks! Buy Round Up, and place your vote for the new dark lord today!

120,547 Reasons Why Monsanto Should Win This Year’s Title: Next Best Thing to Satan, Nuclear Apocalypse, and Slow Painful Death

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Thursday October 02nd 2008, 4:28 pm 2 Comments
Filed under: conspiracies