germany: where the customer is never right, part two

In America I have seen crazed shoppers with Mastercard eyes tear clothing from each other’s hands like rabid animals. Over-weight, over-paid women fighting each other for the privilege of buying $200 pants for $20. You’d think that killing someone over a price difference like that would be legal in America, but apparently the law hasn’t […]

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even cowgirls get the blues (tom robbins), reviewed

Even Cowgirls Get the Blues is a cartwheel. It’s a firecracker. It’s a chortle that sends soda bubbles popping out your nose. It’s a frozen strawberry smoothie slurped loud through a pink straw on a ranch in South Dakota during Indian summer. It’s a piano and a bottle of champagne. It’s a whooping crane. And […]

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the christmas gauntlet: a guide to dresden christmas markets

The Striezelmarkt German Christmas markets: The best thing to happen to heart specialists’ incomes since the county fair. (For any Germans traveling to America, I highly recommend that you visit a county fair so that you can continue to fine tune your loathing for Americans and their culture. What’s that? You mean there’ll be a […]

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germany, where the customer is never right

We didn’t like each other before we’d even met. It was nothing unusual. This was, after all Germany, and we were, in fact, in a restaurant. The hungry passerby and the German waiter are natural enemies. “Can I get you started with some drinks?” the waiter wanted to know. He’d eagerly watched us from the […]

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